I’ve never really become a part of their so-called ‘elite’ team. I will never be as I’ve CHOSEN not to be. I don’t wanna be like them. Their work ethic will never be my work ethic. Their ‘extracurricular activities’, though enjoyable at times, will never be part of my system. I mean, the habit of paying for sensual massages and casual sex using company’s funds is just not… acceptable, among OTHER things. (Yeah it's just one of my many issues.) It was wild and fun (and did I already mention wild? Hmmm…), but the guilt feelings after were just too overwhelming. I feel that I’ve been an accessory to their crimes, knowing that, for God’s sakes, most of them have wives and kids! And I know some of them personally!
Also, I’m really not an ass-kisser. Worshipping bosses like gods has been so prevalent in this organization. In their culture, this is THE way to get ahead. I’ve never seen so many ass-kissin’ bitches in my entire life! I never thought ass-kissin’ should be on top of my responsibilities. FUCK! Worshippin’ other gods has never been, and will never be, part of my work habits. I don’t wanna sound hypocritical as I am as flawed and imperfect as the others, but C’MON! Is this the price that these people have to pay for all the privileges?! I just hate their system. So hate it.
I know my ranting now is already useless as I’ve already made a decision to leave. (At long last! Woo hoo!) It’s just that there’s also a part in me that feels kinda lonely. Maybe every goodbye is just like that. Also during these last few days I feel so alone. Only a few had bothered to talk to me about my resignation. Most of them were just indifferent, I guess.
But I was surprised the other day when the counterpart of one of my evil bosses approached me and sat down with me. Mr. Espiritu, the Sales Manager of Metro Manila Reseller, had heard about my resignation and asked how it had been so far. He really took time to communicate with me, and even shared his plans after his retirement and some views about life in general. During the surprisingly long conversation, what struck me the most was when he mentioned, “What we should prioritize first in life is God. Second is our family. Third is career. Last is either ourselves or others.” This is so opposing to what the other bosses had shared with me, and after he mentioning it, suddenly I had the affirmation that I’ve really made the right decision.
After all this, I can already live the life that I want. That is somethin’ to look forward to.
"I don't really pay for sex. Chicks dig me. I get it for free. This is the only time I really had to pay for it." - A fellow ASE during one of our conversations
“God never stops loving us. He’s happiest, of course, when we do what’s right, but He knows we’re not perfect. He always has hope for us, even when we go astray.” – Mottos for Success, by Maria Fontaine