Monday, August 31, 2009

On Long-Distance Relationships


“What’s your view on long-distance relationships?”, someone asked me the other night.

Medyo natawa ako sa tanong. I dunno why, but maybe because I’ve been asked about the same topic quite too often. Pansin ko lang, laging nasasama ang LDR sa mga usapan lately. Is this a sign? Should I be expecting something that is bound to happen... again? LOL

I’ve had 3 LDRs in my entire lifetime. All didn’t work out, and the longest one lasted for 2 years. Well, almost. Sabi ng iba, hindi na daw ako natuto.

Hindi madali, I tell you. Sa simula, you’d have an idealistic approach on the relationship, thinking that with trust and love, everything will work out just fine. Pero sabi nga sa isang kanta, “Love… It’s just ain’t enough…” Naranasan kong pareho ang mang-iwan at maiwanan. Both sucks big time, but I have to admit, mas mahirap ang maiwanan. As you go through it, malulungkot ka dahil lagi siyang wala sa tabi mo. Problems in communication and misunderstandings would soon arise. You’d have more demands and more expectations. Kapag hindi na-meet ng partner mo ang mga expectations mo, sasama ang loob mo, to the point of starting to self-pity. The worst part is, you’d start to compare efforts as well. Sasabihin mo na you love your partner more than he/she loves you, and that you’re exerting much more. It may sound sweet at first, but actually, it’s quite unfair to the other person. Sampal sa mukha 'yun. For me, love cannot be measured.

Mas mataas ang ‘death rate’ ng long-distance relationships as compared to those regular, conventional ones. And it’s quite obvious why. As I've said, love isn’t enough. It’s definitely not the only formula to make a relationship work.

With this, does that mean I won’t go for another long-distance relationship again?

Hmmm, we’ll see. Who knows? I've been discouraged by some though. Maghanap na lang daw ako dito sa Singapore.

Basta ngayon, ayoko na munang magsalita ng patapos.

39 comments:

  1. (big grin)

    yeah, you'll see. nasa tao lang an how hey handle relationships. di mo rin talag masasabi kung minsan. kaya talaang mahirap magsalita ng patapos.

    seize every day of your life. cherish evry person you meet around. baka nasa tabi tbi mo lang.
    you'll meet her soon.

    point of view ko sa LDR?
    not my thing.

    cheers!

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  2. akshuli, siguro 9 out of 10 ang di nagwowork sa LDR, esp dito sa Dubai..lols

    pero sabi nga ni Dylan nasa tao rin yan, may mga matatag pa sa bato ang relationship. mga taong pwede mo ipagpatayo ng monumento, hihi

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  3. Well from experience, I have to say that LDRs are the hardest type to handle. The one year separation that JR and I had (before I moved to SG) was probably the shakiest moment in our relationship. But then again, it was also that separation that helped us grow, learn and understand each other better. So cliche, pero totoo. :)

    Siguro nga depende rin sa tao. And kung gano ka-tibay yung commitment. Because love's really not enough, especially in LDRS.

    And in maintaining a healthy LDR, it's also not enough to just have love, commitment, honesty and trust. Yes, those things are vital in a successful relationship, but I reckon what's more important is where each of you stand in each other's life AND future. ...LDRs won't work if neither one of you has a clear decision where your future together stands.

    Anyway, ang deep naman nito! HAHA! May kailangan ka bang ikwento??? ;)

    Miss ko na kayo! Let's all hang out pag balik ko in October! :)

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  4. I have been to an LDR before, it lasted for a year. We didn't know each other beforehand, and poof... Unti unti naman nalaman na we were incompatible.

    No regrets, I learned a lot from it and it merited some happy memories.

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  5. LDR means...a lot of long distance...as in overseas calls, di kasi marunong mag ym yung isa eh

    kony! korny!

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  6. Sa tingin ko ang LDR is just like any other conventional relationships; Meron itong ups and downs. 'Yun nga lang sa LDR mas maraming downs, In the sense na, mas maraming effort at mataas na level ng trust. So double the effort para mag work out. Pero sa tingin ko pwede naman mauwi sa Dambana pero sana pag kasal na hindi na LDR.

    Have a nice day, Sir!

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  7. LDR is tough. i have not had one but i know of some friends who did. all ended up brokenhearted. most had no third-party involved. it was just not working.

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  8. VERY WELL WRITTEN KUYA! HEHE.


    In fairness sa'yo, napaabot mo ng almost 2 years. achievement 'yun.

    Ako parang kahit kelan eh di ko makekeri ang LDR. Pag itong si Dongskee ko ay nag-abroad ulit, hahanap na lang ako ng iba. haha. joke!

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  9. never experienced a LDR, pero sa palagay ko hindi talaga magwowork ang ganyan. lalo na sa mga taong mas naeexpress ang pagmamahal nila kapag madalas magkita etc. mga ganun. i dunno.

    magpapari na nga lang ako. hahaha


    Popoy

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  10. hmmnnzzz... LDR... sabi nga nilah... pag M.F.E.O. kayoh.. as in meant for each other... nde hadlang ang LDR... i had some in d' past... didn't work out so well.. kc i guess... 'un nga... we are not meant to be... yeah i was hurt.. pero ganonz tlgah... pero akoh.. hmmnzzz... willin' pa ren naman akoh sa LDR na yan... kc wat if kaya palah walah sa tabi tabi ang taong nakalaan sau... kc andon syah... sa outer space... lolz... ingatz kuya Alex aka Dude! =) Godbless! -di

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  11. Love requires companionship - of the physical type. that's why many LDRs fail, as most of us want to feel the presence of our mate. Despite the technological advancements of this generation, iba pa rin ang effect ng me regular kang ka holding hands. :-)

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  12. :confused:

    lolness.
    Tama ka sa ibang banda parekoy... hindi nabubuhay ang isang relasyon sa LOVE lang... kailangan din ng konting halik;halik at hawak;hawak? lolzlolz.

    Mahirap talaga ang LDR. sabi ng ng kaibgan ko parang sugal yan. iba pa rin talag yung intouch.

    pero kung gusto mo pa ring pumusta, ayus lang... LDR ulit at wag mag-expect ng ano ano..basta bgayan nalng siguro ng oras. konting sakripisyo at pagtitiis.

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  13. kuya, try and try until it succeed! toinks! hehehe.. -eLai-

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  14. id rather not go
    to the nitty gritty
    of that kind of relationship
    everything has its own complications

    it just depends
    on how the both of them
    will work things out
    :D

    on how they compromise
    on what and what nots
    merong binabagayan ng ganitong relasyon
    at tama na siguro yung 3beses
    para mapagisip mo na
    hindi ito ang para sa iyo
    :)











    .xienahgirl

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  15. pag-usapan na lang natin iyang mga bagay na yan sa harap ng mga bote ng beer sa november, insan. hehehe.

    dahil ayaw mo naman sagutin ang mga katanungan sa ym. hahahaha!

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  16. naku naku, mahirap yang LDR.

    pero sabi nga nung commercial ng gamot sa tv:

    "Kakayanin Sir"

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  17. LDR... mahirap talaga, pero kung may tiwala kayo sa isa't isa at alam at nakikita ang inyong sarili na kayo ang magkasama sa hinaharap, maybe it will survive.

    I'm in LDR for almost 3 years now. SO far, we're still surviving, we have our own ups and downs pero nakakaya pa naman.

    Nasa tao din naman kung paano nila iha-handle ang situation. You're right, its not just about love nor kisses and holding hands...

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  18. I would say na if there are misunderstandings, mas maganda na nakakapagusap kayo personally. Not only because you get to see your partner's reaction but also there would be a personal touch. sometimes that alone can soothe whatever is bothering the relationship.And this is something that cannot happen if your partner is not physically with u.

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  19. LDR. waala akong kaalam-alam dyan kuya.. hehe:) ilang beses na rin akong natanong nyan, kung ok lang daw ba ang LDR, pano kung nagaaway at pano magwo-work out.. di ko alam kung isasagot dyan dahil kahit akong nasa ganiyong relasyon eh nangangapa pa rin.. siguro kasi nasa paguusap nyo nang dalawa un:) if you decide na i-try, dapat ready kayong dalawa sa pwedeng mangyari. pangalawang LDR ko na tong ngayon and i can say na i am happy:) and of course hoping na sya na nga talaga:) kung hindi man, ganyn talaga ang buhay, at least you tried:)

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  20. Ohh, 2 years! Kinaya mo?
    In my case, I disagree with LDR. Touchy kasi ako gusto ko ng kaholding hands at ka-date. Ayoko ng bf ko ay parang textmate at chatmate ko lang! haha

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  21. hmmm natatakot akong dumating ang araw na kailanganin na naming pag daan ng siopauQ ang LDR..alam ko kasi na hindi magwowork..yay!

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  22. may katwiran si Chyng... hehehehe...

    mahirap talaga pag magkalayo. mas malapit sa tukso ang bawat isa.

    pero naniniwala pa rin ako na pag kayo talaga... kayo hanggang huli kahit malayo pa.

    personally... ayoko na nyan!
    mahirap mag-isip ng mag-isip at mangarap ng mangarap tapos sa huli eh nangangarap ka lang palang mag-isa! lolz!

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  23. wow. chibi mode.

    saludo ako sa mga tumatagal sa ldr... saludo ako sa'yo gasdude... totoo yan although i haven't experienced such kind of relationship... kausap ko ba naman si chibi sa mga lungkot moments nia gabi2x dati e. hehehhehe. pero seriously, anhirap nga.

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  24. onga malay mo the next one would work... at pwedeng ung anjan na singaporean ;D

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  25. I was just in another blog and the owner of the blog was also talking about long distance relationships. I personally don't believe in them because I think I wouldn't be able to keep one -- I'd die of heart aches. Hahaa. So to people who are able to keep one and are able to make it til the end, saludo ako sa kanila. I actually admire you -- nakaya mo sya 3 times.Ö

    Bloghopping here.
    Hope you don't mind.

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  26. I have a lots of friends with same situation as stated..married couples nga naghihiwalay eh yun pang simpleng relationship like yours [assuming] weh..goodluck!!!

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  27. LDR

    base sa experience ay napaka hirap i-maintain. kaya ayoko din hanggat maaari

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  28. I prefer WRR over LDR. Well-rounded Relationship: may pisikal.

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  29. hmmm..hirap nga po kung ganyan...iv bin into a lot of LDRs and seems doesnt work as well.. prng laro lng lahat...


    anyways, napadaan lng po...ngbasa at kung anu2 pa..^,^

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  30. mahirap nga yan, hanga ako sa may ganyang uri ng relationship.

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  31. i don't like LDRs. my man doesn't too. pero kung kailangan siguro pwede na rin sakin LOL i was teasing my man about going abroad the other day tapos sabi niya only if sasama ko LOL

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  32. hmm..sa lahat ng kilala kong nag LDR, didnt work out (unless married).

    so, i dont wanna even try it.( i think) lol

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  33. ayos. naconfirm ng post na to na hindi talaga kami pwede kahit nasa region 3 lang sya at nasa region 5 ako ng pilipinas. kahit pareho trabaho namin. kahit gusto pa namin. wala naman handa lumipat ng geo para makasama ang isa. LDR in this case won't work. besides i don't think i can survive any LDR relationship. ma-mimiss ko sobra yun tao. di pa nga dumadating namimiss ko na. lol

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  34. LDR is fun coz it's different.

    pero sa tingin ko, mas malaki yung downside nito. andami kasing uncertainties.

    maybe it could work out for sometime, i dunno how long, but for me it's just bound to fade.

    oh well :)

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  35. Wow. I'm feeling the weight of this topic. My first LDR was with my first bf. Ok naman sya until I found out na he was "gay" and he can't take na we don't meet that much. Anyways past is past. With my parents naman, they've been under LDR since I was born that's 22 years na. It has its disadvantages indeed but I guess it only works for those who really can handle it. Kaya I salute my parents coz they still respect and love each other. Although walang labing labing hehehe

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  36. Cguro nga mahirap..pero if both of love each other mag susuccess din cguro..same as mine (hi sana mapadaan ka sa blog ko tnx)

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  37. i've been in LDR for more than 3 years, i thought what we have will last coz we already had plans of tying the knot on 2011 but unfortunately the guy cheated on me and even dump me for his new gf who's with him in philippines. sorrow :(

    but i think your right, love isn't really enough because love needs a sincere, honest & faithful heart. real love conquers all, walang mala-malayo. twink twink

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  38. it takes more than love to survived an LDR naniniwala ako na nasa 2 taong magkarelasyon para maging succesful ang gantong klaseng relasyon! it takes more than love, mahirap talaga kasi ang magkalayo, nakakapraning ang mag-isip (kapag kulang ka sa tiwala) nakakabagot ang di kayo magkasama (kapag very touchy person ka) nakakainis ang maghintay ng call or text (lalo na kung kulang sa budget) at madami pang rason! so i guess hindi naman kailangan maging si darna at superman ang magkarelasyon para magsurvived ang LDR (in the first place nde sila bagay i meant si darna at superman dapat ata cpt barbel) anyways it takes a lot of understanding and trust plus plus plus longer patience :))

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  39. LDR works if both have faith on each other. Open communication is essential as well.

    and 2 years is 2 years. naging masaya ka naman kahit papaano.

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